Trust & Willingness Result in Peace & Joy!

May 12, 2010:  It feels like it has been FOREVER since I updated my blog rather than a couple of weeks!  :)  Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a camcorder rolling constantly because Miracles happen many times each day!  I wish that I could bottle up the Peace and Joy that I have been experiencing and somehow post it here for everyone to download.  :)  Instead, I will let the Holy Spirit Guide my writings and Trust that this blog is serving the purpose intended by the Holy Spirit.

The last blog entry I wrote was when I was still in California visiting my mom.  I knew my next destination was Williamstown, KY yet even with this amount of certainty I was still experiencing resistance in the last few days before I departed.  As with my previous departures, I did not let this resistance derail me and instead relied on my ever-present Guide to restore Peace of Mind.  In fact, I was thinking that I would leave late morning on Sunday the 2nd, but things happened that resulted in my leaving after dinner instead.  In the past, I would have caused myself serious anxiety by feeling as though I was behind schedule or slacking or trying to do too much.  In this case, I was able to remain calm and KNOW that everything would be taken care of and that I would leave exactly when I needed to leave.  That alone was enough to continue my Faith that I was on the right path but I could not predict what great things were in store!  :)

Since I left later than I thought I would, I only made it just across the Cali border into Arizona before I was ready to stop for the night.  Where and when I would stop was a decision that would play out similarly over the next couple of days until I reached KY.  The ego wanted me to decide ahead of time where to stop and then keep pushing further than that to make 'better time'.  Talk about a self-defeating frame of mind!  I mean it's bad enough that it wants to decide the future and what will be best for me, but then even that is never good enough!  Fortunately, as part of the process of awakening I have been more vigilant in being aware of my thoughts and then examining them to look at the motives.  If I am not Calm, Peaceful, and Joyful then I can be certain that the ego is trying to run the show.  Each time I started to feel uneasiness about whether I would find a 'safe' spot or make it 'far enough', I would remind myself that the Holy Spirit is always with me and will provide exactly what I need.  I found out that night that a chain of travel stops called Love's was to become my home.  I couldn't have picked a better name myself!  :)  So my first night was spent in Kingman, AZ sleeping in my car at Love's.  :)

I awoke the next morning without an alarm and that was a great feeling!  I actually got up before the sun had risen and didn't realize that this was a blessing because of what was to unfold during the day.  It was already May 3rd and I had hoped to reach my destination by the afternoon of the 5th, but I had only traveled 300 miles of my 2200 mile journey!  Not exactly a pleasing thought to the ego but fortunately I had not 'analyzed' it in that way.  :)

I remembered my mom mentioning a story about her trip to the Grand Canyon and I thought as long as I was so close to such a unique place that I should stop and enjoy the scenery instead of just keeping my blinders on and focusing on time and distance traveled.  This, of course, sent the ego into overdrive with thoughts of why I shouldn't stop like: "That's about 3 hours round trip out of the way and that's if I just drive by and wave!" or "So what...it's a canyon!  Who cares?  Besides it's all an illusion anyway, right?"  I just love that last one because the ego will use ANY thought to get what it wants even the ones it doesn't believe!  :)  Once again, I had a good laugh at the ego and decided to see the sights!  :)  Since I got up early that morning I was able to get a great parking spot before the crowds showed up.  Also, I spent two hours enjoying the view and didn't even feel in a rush to leave!  Talk about a Miracle!  :)

By the time I left, it was just before noon and I was feeling great!  Every time I needed food or gas there would be an exit with exactly what I needed when I needed it with no planning involved!  :)  I made it across Arizona and into New Mexico; however, there was one thing that managed to give rise to the ego's worries as the day went on:  The same question of where to stop for the night.  I wasn't sure if there would be a Love's in the area when I was ready to stop and figured I could always stop at a rest area.  Wouldn't you know it but ALL of the rest stops heading east in NM were closed!  I couldn't believe it.  I didn't really worry when the first one was closed because I wasn't even close to stopping.  When I passed the second one and it was closed as well I was starting to see a trend.  I figured surely the third one had to be open because otherwise what is a traveler to do?  I should have known better than to disturb my Peace of Mind with such worrisome thoughts because as the Holy Spirit would have it there was a Love's in Tucumcari, NM!  :)  'Problem' solved!  :)

The next morning I realized that I was doing just fine as far as my 'schedule' goes and that everything was working out better than I could have 'planned'.  When I stopped for breakfast and needed batteries for my MP3 player there 'just happened' to be a Target on the exit I chose.  This was great because it was cheaper than buying batteries at a gas station and I had a Target gift card as well as my discount so I could save my cash for gas!  :)  When I stopped for lunch there 'just happened' to be a bank branch on the exit I chose!  :)  Even things that would have caused me consternation in the past turned into yet another Miracle!  :)

Case in point: I was driving across Texas and I was either going the speed limit or no more than 2 mph over because I used to live there and remembered that you 'don't mess with Texas'.  I really didn't feel like getting a ticket so I was more conservative than my usual 5 mph over that I figured was a 'safe risk'.  Little did I know that Oklahoma isn't playing around when it comes to speeding and found this out first hand.  I had just crossed over the OK state line and saw that it was a 70 mph so I decided 70-74 mph was pretty safe.  Even though I saw the trooper camped in the median, I didn't see the sign below the speed limit sign that said 'Strictly Enforced'.  Well, I don't have cruise control and thought I was doing 70 mph when he clocked me but kept my eye on the rearview mirror just in case.  Sure enough, I start to see the squad car move and then pull out into traffic but there were several cars in between us and he didn't pull up right away.  A few seconds later, he accelerates and pulls up right behind me with his lights on, D'oh!  I pulled over and thought for sure I was getting a ticket instead of the Miracle to come!  :)

The trooper comes up to the passenger window and asks me if I know why he stopped me.  I said no and he said he clocked me doing 74 mph in a 70.  He said that it is a straight shot through OK and they have zero tolerance and enforce it to keep speeds in check.  I'm thinking that next comes the ticket and the big bite out of my wallet.  Instead he said he was going to issue me a warning but that he needed me to sit in the front passenger seat of the squad car.  I was ecstatic but that wasn't even what I consider the Miracle.  It's been quite a few years since I've had a ticket but I never like being pulled over much less sitting in a squad car.  In the past, I would have said as little as possible and been very anxious to get on my way.  Instead, I found myself very calm and engaging in the conversation that he was initiating.  He asked things like where I was from, the year of my vehicle, and basic information that he already knew from my license and registration.  Next, he started to talk about sports like hockey since his son played and I mentioned that my brother-in-law played for the University of Minnesota and some semi-pro as well.  Then he asked me where I was headed and that was when the Miracle started to unfold.

I said I was on my way to Kentucky for a retreat and of course his next question was what kind of retreat.  I told him that I was studying A Course In Miracles (ACIM) and that the retreat was centered around these teachings.  He had never heard of ACIM and asked me to explain.  Now, keep in mind that I had only left Minnesota about 5 weeks ago and at that time I still wasn't too comfortable talking to 'strangers' about this very different perspective on life.  But in what could only be described as a surreal moment, I said that ACIM was essentially a text discussing God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and basically life's purpose.  He asked me if it was based on Christianity and I said that it uses some of the ideas in the gospels but that they are interpreted in a very different way.  First of all, the Course says that we are already at Home with God in Heaven.  He asked "right now?" and without hesitation I said yes!  I continued to say that Jesus was not regarded as the only Son of God and that we could attain the same things as him with practice!  I went even further to say that the focus is not really on the crucifixion but the resurrection as a means to demonstrate the point we are already in Heaven!  I couldn't believe these words were coming out of my mouth!  For a split second, I did have an egoic thought that "Is Oklahoma in the bible belt and could he throw me in jail for saying these things?!"  That was just a fleeting thought and I knew that it didn't matter and I had to speak the Truth as I believed it and 'walk the walk'!  :)  By the time I knew it I had just had a spiritual discussion with an officer of the law and he was still letting me go with just a warning!  If that's not a Miracle, I don't know what is!  :)

To be continued...

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Love, Mimzy