What Are the Rules?

Am I a cat in new surroundings or a pinball in a new machine? Well neither in Truth but that is the analogy for how the mind feels! :) The month long silent retreat recently finished up and the form once again has changed. The backdrop appears to be the Light House with Leila and Karen. This change is a perfect excuse for the circle of fear that is the ego to come to the surface.

It's like there are times where I can be in the flow and roll along like a pinball. Then the ego flippers knock me back into the bumpers of attachment and guilt (i.e. thinking this world is real). Just when I get used to the layout of the machine and think I 'know' where the bumpers are, I get dropped into a new machine. The tendency is to want to 'know' the rules of the new machine and get used to the layout so I can avoid the bumpers. The symbolism is that by 'knowing' something I can avoid the guilt!

I think that if I know what I can and cannot do then I can change my behavior to play within the rules and never be at fault/guilty. This is the classic reversal of cause and effect that is the foundation for the ego's game. It's saying just look at the world of form as the cause of how I should feel or think (the effect). This is a game that cannot be won because the form will ALWAYS change and is beyond 'my' control. The idea of 'knowing' anything about the world is just as much an illusion as being in control of the world. It's a necessary delusion for the ego because the opposite to knowing anything of the world is Trust! This is the only answer and is also the undoing of the world and the ego.

For example, I find that when I wake up in the morning the first thought of the ego is what am I going to do today? I never really know what I'm going to be doing on any given day. Even if I think I have a general idea I never know the specifics. If I think I'm working on the computer, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing. Even if I think I'm working on a website, I still don't know exactly what to do. It is a constant game of putting the thoughts out into the future. I can never really know anything for sure because I have no control of the form so there is a very good chance that I could be wrong/guilty about everything! If I could Trust that I am always in the Perfect place and am Given everything that is needed, then there would be no need to figure anything out and there could be no chance of being wrong/guilty! My prayer is:

Help me to remember to Trust in every present moment that there is always Perfect support!

Help me to remember that I can be a passerby!

Help me to remember that I am One with You and therefore "I'm" not even the thinker of the thoughts!

Amen! Love, Mimzy ♥