End of Day 12: It Feels Like Several Lifetimes

April 17, 2010:  I don't even know the date any more without looking at the computer.  It feels like it has been years since I wrote my last blog entry (in a good way)!  :)

It seems like so much happens in a day that it would take forever to describe it all.  One thing I know for certain is that there are no coincidences and my coming to the monastery was exactly what I needed when I needed it!  :)

So many drastic changes have happened in the past year that I now realize happened for a reason and not because of chance or chaos.  Even though the ego would like me to believe that I have lost everything, I am convinced that I am on my way to GAINING EVERYTHING through remembrance of God and my True Self.  I am fully willing to Trust the Holy Spirit because I have had so many experiences that turned out better than the ego could ever provide.

Even in my 'happiest' memories there was always some unhappiness.  Is that what God Wills for us?  No, because then God could not be pure Love and Joy.  That means anytime there is not complete happiness it is still the ego trying to maintain control via illusions.  The great thing though is that I am now more aware of the egoic thoughts and I don't have to indulge in them unconsciously.  I can choose not to act on these thoughts and instead have a different choice.  I am learning to become aware of the Holy Spirit speaking to me all of the time and I have much more Peace when acting on this guidance!  :)

This change in perspective means that I can now Hear the Holy Spirit no matter what I am doing.  Music, movies, meals, projects, and everything I do I can now experience in a completely different way.  The ego has not been completely undone but I am now aware that I am not the image that the ego has created.  The ego is not the 'friend' to me that it would have me believe!  I can't even imagine the great things that are in store for me as I continue to Trust and acknowledge that I do not perceive my own best interests.  That's because the concept of 'I' or 'me' is one that the ego developed.  Instead I see that the separate selves that I have perceived are in fact the projections that the ego has tried to use to keep me from seeing that there is only One!  :)

In a couple of days, I will be leaving the monastery and making my way to Kentucky for a retreat with David Hoffmeister and others.  I am excited because this is where I was guided to go and this Guidance has provided everything I have needed.  I hope that everyone awakens to their True Self to experience Pure Love and Happiness because that's what God Wills for everyone!  Thank you God!  :)

Love,
Mimzy